I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize