The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
