Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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