i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
