The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
