You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize