my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
