wakey wakey hands off snakey
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize