: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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