Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
