There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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