...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
