...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
