i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the day after is always just damage control
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize