I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
