I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just made my gag reflex go away.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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