I want to walk on stilts...naked
if only i could text you this smell
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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