make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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