One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
