I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
