you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
