Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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