yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
