you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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