hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
