We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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