so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
