butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was so not down for the gang bang
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
