therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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