I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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