yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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