How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
