no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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