Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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