I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
