The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize