Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
