Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
