I faked an abortion last night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I touched a dick in church today
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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