Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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