I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
