# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
