She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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