I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
