White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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