You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Text me some of your sweat
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize