i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
