so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
