i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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