Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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