I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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