What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
