He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
