Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
