Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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