I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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