pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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