Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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