Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
