chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
